Word Count: 685
Rating: G
Category: AU, Pre-Slash, Fanpoem
Notes: Written for the 2010 Ginger Lust project-a-thon using prompt #7. Thanks to JW, MW, and EK for looking over this and listening to my whining about how it was difficult writing in non-rhyming ballad stanza. Not to mention, thanks to CR for the “beta”.
Summary: Ron writes a poem about “unrequited” love.
Pairing: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley with mentions of Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley and Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Warnings: Slash
Dedications: None
Completed Date: January 18, 2010
Every night I talk to the stars pretending it’s you. It acts just like you, far away and never replying to my questions. — Anonymous
Another lonely night has come
Where I sit by myself.
With nothing but a chess set and
The stars right above me.
My inside’s all confused and bleak,
I want to scream out loud.
So I grab some pen and paper,
To let my feelings out.
I hear you inside the Burrow,
All love-struck and content,
But that just makes me more upset,
As my hands come alive.
I know you like the pretty girls;
I do respect that, but
My heart cannot differentiate
Dreams from reality.
When did I start to feel this way?
Why did I fall for you?
I wish the stars would answer back,
Giving me some guidance.
Of all the people on the train,
You chose to befriend me.
Our friendship started on that day,
Going through ups and downs.
As time went by, my feelings changed.
I saw you in new lights.
You, unaware and secretly,
Began to drive me nuts.
I longed for our relationship
To evolve over time.
But it didn’t; I’m glad to say,
Since you’d push me away.
Yet I’m the one with many faults;
I’ve acted like a prat,
Where in the past, my stubbornness,
Has almost cost me you.
As sentimental as this sounds,
I have to say it now.
If our friendship ever ended,
I will wish I was dead.
I think of morbid, angry thoughts,
And think of ways to end
Your relationship with Ginny
So I can fully win.
I know my flaws and weaknesses,
Like knowing my own name.
Hot-headed and impulsive, too,
I try to tone them down.
Though I have many other faults,
Including being mean,
Compared to my much younger self,
I’ve come a long, long way.
Brooding, I continue to write
These feelings that remain.
The very same, exact feelings,
I’ve forced on someone else.
That proved to be a big mistake,
As Hermione knew.
She figured out what I could not,
Instantly like a shrew.
She scolded me for using her,
She lectured me too long,
But in the end, she sympathised
And kept my secret safe.
I take a break, I look above,
I ask the stars again,
I ask the stars to grant my wish,
I ask one final time.
It’s pointless, and I know that well.
I do it anyway.
Oh, I close my eyes so tightly,
And take a long deep breath.
Hark! A door slam interrupts me.
I see a flash of red.
My sister hurries down the path,
With Harry calling her.
He stops and stares and sees me here.
His face stays neutral.
But in his eyes, I see the signs
Of guilt and something else.
I have to ask, I have to know.
I ask what has happened.
In a very despondent voice,
He tells his tale to me.
“I’m gay,” he says, “and I told her
That I can’t stay with her.
I had to stop this horrid act,
Or I’d regret it all.”
My heart stops beating when I hear
This most surprising news.
Did he really say he is gay?
Or am I hearing things?
“You’ve got to be joking,” I say.
“Or are you serious?”
I stand up to move close to him,
And he just shakes his head.
His eyes, the windows to his soul,
Covered by the glasses,
Close tightly as he takes deep breaths,
And gives me wary looks.
Too surprised by the shocking news,
I stare at the chess set.
A very tense and stiff silence
Comes and wraps around us.
He probably thinks I’m pissed off
Because he sighs and says,
“I’m sorry, Ron, for hurting her,
Oh, please, do not hate me.”
I clear my throat, which has gone dry,
Making me cough a bit.
I look at him, I smile at him,
And catch him by surprise.
Patting his shoulder, then I say,
“Thanks for being honest.”
A cheery smile lights up his face,
And he goes back inside.
Now all alone, out on the porch,
I look up at the sky.
I see the stars and the full moon.
I sense new hope inside.