Word Count: 2,134
Rating: PG-13
Category: Humour
Notes: Thanks to Jeff again for the silly little plot bunny.  Many thanks to Dawn and Titti for the beta job!
Summary: Remus and his keen sense of smell get James into a horrifying experience with jellybeans.
Pairing: None
Warnings: Disgusting flavours?
Dedications: To all those people who had bad experience with disgusting flavours of jellybeans!
Completed Date: July 1, 2004

---

Remus loved jellybeans. Especially Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Jellybeans.

With the jellybeans involved, this was the only time Remus was thankful for being a werewolf and for the keen sense of smell that he had to his physiology. Thanks to it, Remus was able to sniff out the nasty flavoured ones to get to the good flavours.

As much as he loved those candies, he did not enjoy getting horrid flavoured ones such as snail and his least favourite: barf.

He had the most unfortunate opportunity to get a barf-flavoured jellybean the day before he was cursed. Afterward, he had the pleasure of picking out the good tasting ones. He would savour the small morsel in his mouth. They could be bright red, indicating country apple or maybe red pepper; or golden brown for caramel, which could be mistaken for ear wax; or light yellow to indicate lemon meringue pie or perhaps his other not-so-favourite, diarrhoea.

Before attending Hogwarts, several of the younger children in the neighbourhood always wondered how Remus was able to differentiate the good from the bad. They would always come up to him to sort out the jellybeans for them, and he’d do so. The younger children didn’t know about prejudice, so they’d come up to Remus and ask about the candies.

That was the only reason why they came up to him. Remus was quiet and shy. He was reserved compared to the other children, and he preferred solitude rather than socialising.

When he attended Hogwarts, he still kept to himself, but then the day came when he found out he could be mischievous too.

---

With their second-year classes through for the day, James walked into the dormitory he was sharing with Remus, Sirius, and Peter. He had received a parcel from his parents this morning, and one of the gifts he obtained was a small bag of Bertie Bott’s Jellybeans. He glanced and saw Remus, the quietest member of his dorm, on his bed as well, and he was studying.

Remus mystified James. Remus didn’t always join in with the group. He seemed like a lone wolf, the one who was too cautious to join. Like someone who was afraid to steal the cookie from a cookie jar for the fear of parents catching him. James tried his best to get Remus involved in whatever pranks he and the other two were involved in, but to no avail.

But James Potter hadn’t earned his stubborn reputation for nothing. He would get Remus to open up one day. With a smile that enhanced the golden sparks in his hazel eyes, he plopped onto his bed that was next to Remus’ (Sirius’ bed was on the other side).

“Hey, Remus.”

A small smile graced Remus’ face as he said, “Hello, James.”

“What are you doing right now?” James asked, opening up the small bag full of jellybeans.

“Doing my Defence Against the Dark Arts work.” Remus hesitated with shyness before asking, “Where are Sirius and Peter?”

“Oh, those two are serving a detention through dinner time. I sympathise with them, but at the same time, they should have been faster in the attempt to get away from Filch.” James sorted through the bag and picked out a grey-coloured jellybean.

Remus smelled the flavour and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”

James looked bemusedly at his mate, “Why not?”

“It’s liver,” Remus replied just as James put it in his mouth. Remus stifled a laugh as James was coughing up a storm at the revolting taste.

A few minutes passed before James regained his composure. He waited for the taste to fade before looking back at Remus. “How did you know it was liver?”

“Oh! Erm . . . I just have a knack for knowing what they taste like since I ate those a lot when I was younger. Knowing the flavours has become second-nature for me.” Remus cursed himself for thinking up such a poor excuse. Luckily, James seemed to have bought the story.

“I see . . . ” James trailed off as a new prank came to his mind. “This might come in handy.”

Remus looked at him puzzled, “What?”

“Oh you will see.”

---

A couple of days passed. James and Sirius had found a secret passageway to Hogsmeade. They decided to use that, and with the pocket money they both had, they bought one big barrel of Bertie Bott’s Jellybeans and lugged it back to the dormitory. Sirius, who was bigger than James, carried the barrel full of the sweets, while James carried an empty barrel that was similar to the former.

Remus was in the dorm when they returned, and he raised both eyebrows at the sight. “What’s with that?”

“Could you do us a favour, Remus?” James asked after he and Sirius put the barrels down.

“Yes . . . ?” Remus had an idea what James was about to request of him.

“Could you separate the good ones from the bad ones . . . ?” James grinned sheepishly. “I’d do them myself, but I don’t have that instinct of yours.”

Remus bitterly wished he didn’t have that “instinct” either. “Oh, sure. What do you need all that for though?”

Sirius, who wasn’t known for subtleness blurted out, “You know how the Headmaster loves these? Well, we want to give him a gift.”

“Ah.” Remus nodded.

“We’d help you, but James and I need to go to the library and finish up our Transfiguration assignments.”

James quickly added, “You don’t have to do this, Remus.”

Remus eyed the barrels warily. He didn’t have any assignments to do; he’d finished them already. “Ah, what the heck. I’ve got nothing else to do.”

“Thanks, Remus!” James smiled brilliantly. “We owe you one!”

“No problem, now go do your assignment. I’d hate to see the head of our house come after you two.”

Sirius and James left the room. Remus stared at the barrels. “I have my suspicions that they are going to do more than just present this as a gift. They said they owe me . . . ”

---

Sirius, James, and Peter laughed as they walked up to the dorm. They were all laughing at their newest prank idea. Yet they silenced themselves as they entered the room because they didn’t want Remus to know what they were planning to do.

When they entered the room, they saw that Remus was done with the sorting. It had taken Remus about an hour and a half, and now he was just reading a book for pleasure. He looked up from the book when he heard them come in.

“All done.”

“Brilliant!” Sirius started to jump around in excitement. “So which one is the good one and which one is the bad one?”

Remus pointed to the right, “That’s the bad one.”

Nodding, the three glanced quickly at each other. “Alright. Thanks, Remus.” James grinned at him.

“Shall I go present the gift to the headmaster now?” Sirius asked, hardly containing his anticipation of what was to come.

“Yes, you may, Mr. Black. You have my permission to do so.” James smirked and watched Sirius scurry to the bad barrel. “I’ll be back!”

With Sirius gone, and Peter leaving to use the loo, Remus decided to ask, “Why did you guys want to present the headmaster with all of those bad beans?”

“Well since he always seems to have bad luck with the jellybeans, I thought we could present him a full barrel of bad luck. Too bad I won’t be able to see the look on his face. It’d be priceless.”

“I see,” Remus replied with a poker face. “It would be hilarious now, wouldn’t it?”

James nodded toward Remus and stared longer than necessary. “Thanks again. I’m going to get some snacks in the kitchen. I’ll bring back food for all of us.”

Remus nodded as James left the room.

---

Sirius and James came in from a heavy Quidditch practice. They were both craving something to chomp on, and they looked at the barrel of good jellybeans. Sirius looked at James, “Shall we kill that barrel now?”

“Why not. I am starving. Some sugar wouldn’t kill us.” James put his broom on the bed and sat on the floor, and Sirius followed along too.

“Thank Godric for Remus sorting these out.” James chose a white one. “Ah, I’m guessing this will be coconut.” He put in his mouth and chewed twice before stopping.

Sirius noticed the sudden halt and asked, “What?”

“This tastes like horseradish. I hate horseradish. I guess this one went past Remus.”

Shrugging, Sirius chose a cream-coloured jellybean that was speckled with brown spots. “Popcorn for me!”

James jumped up a mile when he heard Sirius scream.

“Bloody hell!!! This is no popcorn!! This taste like someone’s crap!”

James wrinkled his nose as he remembered the colour and the pattern. “I hate to tell you this, but it’s probably bird droppings?”

“UGH!” Sirius decided to go to the kitchen to wash the taste away with pumpkin juice.

James then took nibbles of the remaining jellybeans and found out that all of them were the bad kinds. “Did Remus . . . no. That is not in his nature. Or maybe we are becoming an influence on him?”

---

Remus wearily walked into the dorm after a study session at the library. All he wanted to do now was to crash into his cosy bed. Just as he was about to fall into it, he felt someone grab his arms and spin him around.

Blinking, Remus saw that James was holding his arm, Sirius was glaring at him with his arms crossed, and Peter was looking clueless. “Yes? Do you guys need something?”

“Did you give us the bad barrel on purpose?” Sirius demanded.

“The jellybeans?” Remus asked innocently.

“Yes. The jellybeans,” James said calmly.

Remus hid a grin by turning his head to the side. “Maybe.”

“That’s a yes in my language.” James let go of Remus’ arm and stared at him. “Why?”

“You guys said you owe me, right?” Sirius and James nodded. “Well, now you don’t owe me since I decided to pull a prank on you guys as a favour to myself.”

Raising an eyebrow to each other, Sirius and James silently communicated. Then all four of them just lost it. They started to laugh hysterically.

“I can’t believe you did that, Remus!” James exclaimed wiping tears away. “You do have a mischievous side after all!”

Peter butt in and said, “Yeah. You don’t look like the type.”

“I guess I do. I also suspected you were going to do that to the poor headmaster. I think with his history of the jellybeans, he went through enough. So I figure he should get a barrel of nice jellybeans for once.” Remus felt comfortable. He wished he had interacted with the other three sooner, but now was as good a time to start as any in his opinion.

“Well you are certainly clever, that’s for sure. You’ve got a marauder’s mind,” said Sirius, slapping a hand on Remus’ thin shoulder. “I just wish I knew how you got that talent of picking out jellybeans though.”

Remus stopped smiling for a second. “Oh, it’s nothing. Like I told James, it’s from many years of eating those things.”

“You must have suffered a lot then.” Sirius nodded in sympathy.

“Eh, the suffering was worth it I suppose.” Remus looked back at them and smiled with force.

“Remus, you are cooler than we thought. We’d be honoured if you’d join us. We’d love to hear more of your ideas, especially against the Slytherins!” James, stubborn as a mule was determined to use this opportunity to allow Remus to join in the small group.

A few minutes passed before Remus smiled a true smile. “That’d be terrific. I’m honoured that you’d want to include me.”

“Well you certainly convinced us,” said Sirius, who wasn’t like James. He had doubts on whether someone as quiet as Remus would be rambunctious enough.

“Come on!” James’ eyes sparkled in mirth. “Let’s start planning!”

The four boys got in a circle on the floor and started to conspire against the Slytherins, Filch, and even girls they thought were annoying. Remus’ sleepiness disappeared as he got into the spirit of the group. He felt happy; he felt like he had found his pack.

---

Albus Dumbledore, the esteemed headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had three weaknesses. Socks, sherbert lemons, and Bertie Bott’s Jellybeans. He smiled at the rapidly decreasing barrel of jellybeans. So far he had the best of luck and all of the beans were good flavours.

Albus chuckled as he ate a chocolate flavoured one. “Ah, chocolate. I am quite enjoying these as much as Remus is finally enjoying the group he belongs with. Life could not be better at the moment.”