- Insidious Disquisition - https://id.aigoo.me -

Percy Weasley and the Phwee Plant

Word Count: 5,955
Rating: R
Category: AU/AR, Post-War, Humour, First Time, Romance
Notes: Written for 2012 HP Valensmut. Many thanks to Ayla Pascal for betaing!
Summary: Percy has to take care of a very odd plant. It is an easy task, but things get complicated when the plant becomes sick.
Pairing: Neville Longbottom/Percy Weasley
Warnings: Slash
Dedications: Coffee_n_Cocoa
Completed Date: December 18, 2011


“You want me to watch that for the next six months?”

Percy stared at the Phweenalia obnoxium plant in Penelope’s hands. It looked like a large, single-stemmed common bluebell, but it moved and it also “talked”. The plant, more commonly known as the Phwee Plant, wriggled in its pot, and like a dog, it leaned forward and sniffed at him. It reared back and gave a good shake and let out a loud, “Phwee!!!”

Penelope whispered something to the plant, and it wriggled once more, crossed its arm-leaves, looked off to the side, and then stayed still. “You’re the only one I can ask to do this, Percy. My father’s allergic to Pelonius’ species, so I can’t ask my parents to help me. I have to concentrate on my tasks in the Australian Outback, and with you watching Pelonius, I won’t have to worry about him.”

He stared at Pelonius, which still had his arm crossed and was not looking at him. Instead he let out another shrill “Phwee!!!”, and Percy stopped himself from covering his ears. “You know I was not very good at Herbology, right?”

“Pelonius is easy to take care off. Just make sure you water him once a day, feed him a fly twice a day, and put him in a place with a lot of sunshine.”

“I don’t know, Penelope–” Percy cut himself off as he saw her familiar Crup-like eyes, the same eyes that would always prevent him from saying no to her in the past. He pushed his glasses up and let out a soft sigh. “Fine. I’ll watch Pelonius.”

Penelope beamed at him. “Thanks a lot. You and Pelonius will get along fine. I just know it!”


Ron cocked his head when he saw Pelonius. “I’ve never seen this kind of plant before. You say it moves and talks?”

“Yes, he’s a commonly known magical plant from Siberia, but his kind is still not as well known outside that place. They are slowly gaining favour in the magical communities around the world because some people like owning one of them as a pet.”

“Wouldn’t a Crup or an owl be a better choice for a pet? Why get this instead?”

“This isn’t mine,” Percy responded dryly. “I’m watching it for Penelope.”

“Well, that makes bloody sense. I was wondering if you were that lonely–”

Not again! Percy stifled back a groan, wondering why his family was on his case about not having a significant other, even after they discovered he preferred men over women. He could now see why Charlie decided to live overseas — at least living faraway meant he wouldn’t be bombarded by the nosiness of their family.

“–and you know it’s okay if you prefer a bloke instead, right?” Ron finished as he munched on some biscuits.

Percy glared at his youngest brother. “Thank you so much for your acceptance. Now, why in Merlin’s name are you here instead of with Hermione?”

“Oh, she’s in a bit of a mood. That monthly woman thing, I think . . . so I told her to go book shopping with Ginny.”

“What about Harry?”

“Something to do with business with the twins.”

“So you came here because you had nothing to do.”

“That’s one reason,” Ron said, grinning. “But I also heard from Kingsley that you’ve suddenly changed your schedule a bit by needing to rush home every night at the same time, so we were all curious on you having a new secret lover or not. Imagine my surprise that your reason for not working overtime lately is because of a plant.”

“Is that all?” Percy asked in a bored tone. “Well, sorry to disappoint, but as you can see, I have a plant to take care of for a friend. And now that you’re here, you can have the honour of feeding Pelonius this fly.”

“Who do I look like? Neville?” Ron backed away. “Sorry, mate, but I’m not feeding that plant. The way it’s looking at me, it looks like it’s going to bite my head off or something.”

“Neville? Neville Longbottom?”

“How many Nevilles do you know? Yes, Neville Longbottom, the new Herbology professor at Hogwarts.”

“I knew he had a good aptitude for Herbology, but I didn’t know he was that knowledgeable in the subject.”

“Oh, he is,” Ron bragged. “Hermione had plant troubles last year. Remember that plant we had that, er, passed gas a lot? It would stink up our place? It had bad timing and stank up the place when we had my boss over for dinner once. Well, Neville helped us fixed that problem. It’s no longer stinky.”

An image of a first-year Neville came into his head. He remembered thinking that there was nothing particularly special about the lad — at least not scholastic excellence, anyway. The kid could probably win an award for being caught in unfortunate — but sometimes fortunate — situations. After all, look how Neville won them the House Cup in his first year. Plus, there was the whole Sirius Black incident. With these memories, it was hard to picture Neville being a Hogwarts professor with a mastery in Herbology.

Then again, he thought, people do change. Some for the better, some for the worse, and it looked like Neville had changed for the better.

“Anyway,” Ron continued. “You can feed this plant! I’ll just watch. Then I challenge you to a game of chess.”

Percy rolled his eyes and finished the rest of his train of thought. Then again there were some people who never changed, like his brother.


“Phwee! Phwee!!! PHWEE!!!”

That was the greeting Percy received as soon as he Apparated into his flat, and he instinctively looked at the clock on his wall and scowled. Pelonius continued his “phweeing”, each phwee becoming louder and shriller. Percy grimaced as he quickly moved to the plant. Once he was in front of the plant, he glared at him.

Pelonius stopped his obnoxious yelling and put his arm-leaves on his so-called hips and blew a raspberry at him, which sounded like “Phweetetetetete!”

“I’m only five minutes late for your feeding, and you’re treating me like a criminal? The things I do for a plant . . . ” Percy grumbled as he fed Pelonius a fly. “Are you all happy now, master?”

Pelonius responded, “Phwee!!!” And then he started to sing loudly and waved his arm-leaves as if he were conducting an orchestra. “Phwee, phwee, phwee, phweeeeeeeeee!” Percy blinked, recognising the tune as that one famous Muggle composer song.

“Beethoven’s ‘Fifth’,” Percy muttered. “I shouldn’t be surprised. That is Penelope’s favourite, after all.”

Pelonius continued his symphony — at the loudest volume possible — and it wasn’t long before Percy had a pounding headache. When he went to bed that night, after finishing up the work he had brought with him to home, Percy — to his annoyance — found himself humming that tune.

As he lay there, in the dark, staring at the ceiling, he decided since Silencing Charms had no effects on Pelonius, he’d invest in some Muggle earplugs. He had thought about gagging him and putting a container over Pelonius, but he did not want to become a plant abuser, so Muggle earplugs were his solution for now.


“Percy, it’s been a long couple of months! How are things going with you and Pelonius?” Though it was hard to tell with the fire, Percy could see that Penelope had tanned since their last meeting.

“Pelonius and I are getting along fine,” Percy said. If you can call listening to his screeching fine, he grumbled to himself, still perturbed that the Muggle earplugs ended up not working.

“Can you bring Pelonius over here? I’d like to see him.”

“Um, sure.” Percy went to Pelonius, pick up his pot, and walked back to the fireplace, keeping a safe distance away. Pelonius might annoy him, but he had no desire to burn him!

Penelope smiled. “Hello, Pelonius!”

“PHWEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Pelonius squealed loudly. He raised his arm-leaves up and continued to sprout out his phwees happily.

“You miss me, don’t you? I miss you, too, Pelonius. I miss you a lot, but I’m glad to see that Percy is taking good care of you.”

Percy wanted to roll his eyes, but he didn’t. He had to admit that watching Penelope and Pelonius interact with each other was amusing, reminding him of a mother-child reunion of some sort. “You know he sings that Beethoven song a lot?”

“I’m not surprised,” Penelope said with a smile. “He does like that song.”

“Because you like it.”

“Yeah . . . anyway, thanks, Percy. I’m so glad he’s doing well. I have a few more months left before I’ll come back home. When I come back, I’ll bring you a lot of Tim Tams.”

“Tim Tams?”

“Oh, they are the best biscuits in the world. You’ll love them when you try some.”

“Uh, all right. Just don’t bring back a kangaroo or something. You take care of yourself, Penelope.”

“Thanks. You, too!”

When the call ended, Percy took Pelonius back to his spot. As he set the pot down, he said, “The next few months will go by fast. You’ll be reunited with her soon.”

“Phwee!” Pelonius wriggled happily in his pot. “Phwee!”

Percy laughed. “You sure can be cute. Just don’t sing that Beethoven song for a while–”

“Phwee, phwee, phwee, phweeeeeeeeee!”


A few days later, when Percy came home from work, he saw Pelonius looking different. He was slumped over in his pot. His flowers appeared dry and droopy, and his leaves were all sagging on top of the pot. Alarmed, Percy dropped his cloak on the floor, not caring it’d get dirty, and quickly went to Pelonius.

“What’s the matter with you?” Percy demanded, gently picking up the pot and bringing him closer to his face.

“Phwee . . . ” Pelonius answered weakly.

Percy wracked his head, trying to remember if he had forgotten to feed or water Pelonius, but he knew he never forgot. Pelonius had never moved from its sunny spot, so the lack of sunlight could not be a factor. He only bought the flies that were the same brand Penelope used, so his feed could not be a problem.

He grew worried as he realised that something was truly wrong with Pelonius. And despite Pelonius’ obnoxious ways, he was not going to let a plant die on him.

Neville. The name popped in his head. He had to contact Neville, the only Herbologist he knew around here. However, he didn’t have an owl, and he didn’t feel comfortable using the Floo to call someone he didn’t know very well. Instead, he used the Floo to call Ron.

Thankfully, Ron was home. “What’s wrong?” he asked when he saw Percy’s panic-stricken face.

“Something’s wrong with Pelonius! I don’t have an owl! So can you please contact Neville for me and ask him if he knows anything about the Phwee Plant?” Percy then proceeded to explain what was wrong with Pelonius.

“Okay, okay, Perce! I’ll contact him. In the meantime, you calm down. Relax! Your whole head looks like a tomato.”

Percy bristled at the comment, but he thanked Ron, nonetheless. They then quickly cut off their connection so Ron could contact Neville. Percy went back to his sitting room and waited for what felt like hours as he paced around the room, his eyes never leaving Pelonius.

When he finally heard Ron’s voice from the Floo, he reluctantly left the room and walked over to the fireplace.

“I’ve got a hold of Neville. He has to quickly take care of some Hogwarts business. It shouldn’t take him more than half an hour. Then he’ll Floo to your place.”

Percy was not thrilled that he had to wait another half an hour, but he was glad Neville was still coming. “All right, Ron. Thanks a lot.”

“Let me know what happens. If you need help, Hermione and I will help.”

Percy thanked him one more time, and then he waited for Neville.


Percy was with Pelonius when heard his Floo come to life, and he heard a loud thud and an “Ow!” coming from the next room. Knowing that Neville had arrived, Percy rushed into the room and there he saw a dusty Neville Longbottom on the floor, looking sheepish with a wide smile. That was the first thing Percy noticed about Neville. The second thing he noticed was that Neville had changed a lot since his Hogwarts day. Gone was the pudgy-faced, short boy he’d known in the past. That boy had been replaced by a young man. A young man with faint scars on his face and stubbles on his cheeks and chin. Neville had grown taller and his shoulders had become broad. He was exactly the type of man Percy liked, and he was mortified when he realised he’d been staring at Neville.

Quickly, he reached out a hand to help Neville up. Their hands met, and he immediately saw the contrast. His was pale and freckled and slender. Neville’s was dark and large, and there were a bit of dirt under his nails.

Percy really liked how their hands fit each other perfectly, so when they had to let go, he was sorely tempted to not let go.

Neville stood up and brushed himself off. “Sorry about that.” Even Neville’s voice — all deep and husky — impacted Percy.

“Tits–” Percy desperately hoped he hadn’t gone red. He swallowed hard and cleared his dry throat. “It’s all right. Thank you for coming.”

“Not a problem.” He looked around. “Where’s Pelonsky?”

“Pelonius.”

“Oh, oops! Sorry, Ron was a bit hasty with his explanation, so I didn’t catch the plant’s name correctly.”

“Pelonius is over in the next room.” Percy quickly guided Neville to Pelonius, who still looked the same — all droopy and pathetic looking.

Neville immediately walked over to Pelonius and began to examine the plant. When he first bent over to inspect the plant even closer, Percy, who was standing a few feet behind Neville, got to see Neville’s lovely arse. Well, what he saw was the imprint of Neville’s arse, but he could see through the robes that Neville’s arse was well-shaped and nicely filled out. Percy shifted uncomfortably as he thought about how the round tush would fit in his hands when he grabbed them. The imagery sent a huge jolt of warmth to his mid-section. Percy felt his face turning red, so he desperately tried to think of something else. Something that would not instigate his libido!

He focused his attention on Pelonius, and on Penelope, who’d surely kill him if anything were to happen to Pelonius. He winced at the memory of the time she had kicked him in his balls. It was not his fondest memory, but it was one that always helped him calm down.

A few more minutes passed before Neville stood all the way up, no longer giving Percy an eyeful of that lovely arse, and said, “Pelonius is suffering from depression.”

Percy blinked. He knew Pelonius was rather sentient for a plant, but he was not expecting him to suffer from anything remote to depression. “What needs to be done for him?”

“He needs this special fertiliser blend. It acts like an anti-depressant drug for his kind of plant. I can bring some fertiliser tomorrow and show you how to give it to him and how often and so forth. And you need to do one more thing for him daily.”

“What do I need to do?”

“Sing to him.”

“Pardon?”

“At least once a day, sing to him. You heard how people sing to their plants to help it grow? Well, with the Phwee Plant, singing makes them happy. When it’s happy, it will sing by themselves, but when it’s not, it needs to be sing to. You have to sing, though. A recording does not have the same effect as a live performance.”

” . . . But I cannot sing.”

“It doesn’t matter if you can or can’t sing. If it’s loud and music-like, they’ll enjoy it.”

Percy took his glasses off and rubbed his forehead. “All right. I’ll sing.”

“Good,” Neville smiled. He reached out and patted Percy’s shoulder. “Pelonius will be fine. Just sing to him once or twice a day. Will it be all right for me to stop by tomorrow evening with the fertiliser?”

Percy nodded.

“Until tomorrow then.”

Percy eyed Pelonius after Neville left. “So I have to sing to you . . . ”

“Phwee . . . ” Pelonius still sounded weak, which made Percy feel really bad for him.

“You really must miss Penelope . . . ”

“Phwee . . . ” Pelonius said and slowly nodded.

“Well, I’ll sing, but remember I’m not going to be very good.” Percy tapped his chin thoughtfully, and five seconds later, he sang the first song that came into his mind.

Are you going to Scarborough Fair
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
Remember me to one who lived there.
He once was a true love of mine.

As he sang, all out of tune and off-key, he thought of Neville once more. He was surprised that Neville had made such an impact on him. He had not felt attracted to anyone in ages, but he now felt a huge amount of attraction towards Neville.

He continued to sing as he thought about Neville raising the plants like parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. He imagined Neville working in the greenhouse, all hot and sweaty and dirty from the work, creating a picture of sexiness in Percy’s mind. He imagined Neville’s large hands on his shoulders, gripping him gently with enough firmness that would let him know that Neville would want him, too.

By the time he finished singing, his breath had gone ragged, and he was feeling so riled up that he knew he’d need to go to the loo to finish up his business. Before, though, he checked on Pelonius.

Pelonius was still droopy like before, but his “Phwee” sounded perkier. Relieved, Percy went to the loo.


The next morning, before he went to work, Percy fed Pelonius a fly and sang another song before he went to work. The song he chose to sing this morning was “Loch Lomond”.

When he finished, he patted Pelonius’ pot. “I’ll come home early,” Percy said, making a mental note to pick up some extra biscuits. “And I’ll sing to you then,” he promised.

During his lunch hour, Percy picked up the aforementioned biscuits, and he also got several more varieties of tea. He knew he hadn’t been hospitable the night before, so he wanted to make it up to Neville today.

Yet as the rest of his day ticked by, he felt himself growing more and more nervous. When he left work an hour early liked planned and came home, he was pretty much a wreck as he dashed around the flat making sure the place was clean and that the tea and the biscuits were all set for whenever Neville came by later.

In between his panic sessions, he talked and sang to Pelonius, who was looking slightly better than the day before. He was still slumped over, but he did phwee here and there with Percy when he sang, of all songs, “Macho Man”. It was definitely not a song he enjoyed, but it was a song Fred and George sang over a hundred times during the last big party at the WWW, so Percy had no choice but to memorise the whole bloody song.

Body, it’s so hot, my body,
Body, love to pop my body,
Body, love to please my body,
Body, don’t you tease my body,
Body, you’ll adore my body,
Body, come explore my body,
Body, made by God, my body,
Body, it’s so good, my body

Percy had to admit the song was pretty . . . sexual. Really, since the twins were singing it, he shouldn’t be surprised by their song choice, but this particular song was blatantly sexual. So sexual that he was picturing Neville following the song’s command by touching, adoring, pleasing, and teasing his body . . .

Percy shook his head, remembering that he had a sick plant in front of him. He looked at Pelonius, who was really looking better than before, so that encouraged Percy to continue to sing the song. He was so into the song that he did not hear his Floo being activated. In fact, he didn’t even know someone was in the room until Pelonius said, “Phwee, phwee, phweeeeeeee!” Percy stopped singing and looked at Pelonius, whose arm-leaves pointed behind him. He turned around and did a double-take when he saw Neville.

Percy turned bright red, wishing then that Pelonius was a Venus Flytrap capable of eating wizards. Especially idiotic wizards like him!

“Ne–Ne–Neville!” Percy spluttered. “I . . . I . . . ”

“You must really enjoy singing. Pelonius is looking a lot better.” Neville looked amused. He held up a small bag. “I’ve brought the fertiliser. Want me to show you how to do it?”

Deciding that his tongue was not going to cooperate now, Percy nodded.

“Okay. You really need to do this once a day, preferably in the evening before you go off to bed. Just scoop out this much and place it in his pot. Gently pat the fertiliser down, and he’ll be looking great in a few days or so. If he looks like he’s back to normal in a week, you don’t have to give him any more.”

“That’s it?” Percy asked, his tongue now back to normal.

“That’s it.”

“Well, I . . . to thank you, I have some tea and biscuits. Would you like some?”

“That’d be great. Thank you. Let me just go wash my hand. Where’s the loo?”

While Neville washed his hands in the loo, Percy got the tea and the biscuits ready. He set everything neatly in the sitting room, the same room where Pelonius was, and Percy sat stiffly, waiting for Neville to come back.

In no time, Percy had served them their teas — Darjeeling for him and Earl Grey for Neville — and the two drank in silence. Feeling awkward, Percy asked how it was like being a Hogwarts professor.

“I love it. I love teaching all these young wizards and witches about the subject I know and understand the most. Teaching has its own ups and downs, and sometimes it can be too challenging, but I can tell you that my days are never boring. I mean, it’s not like Potions where cauldrons and stuff explode, but these kids do get into some interesting situations.” Neville chuckled.

Neville’s easy-going attitude calmed Percy nerves. In fact, he was impressed by the way Neville exuded out natural confidence now, so different from the young boy he knew from the past. Percy smiled softly before asking, “What kind of situations?”

“Well, I had one student upset a special breed of cactus, and the cactus grew angry and squirted its juice at him. The student suffered from having a purple face for a week or so. That’s how long it took to wash off.”

Percy laughed, and in an ironic tone said, “That cactus must know my brothers.”

“The twins?”

“Who else do you know would make someone’s face purple?”

“Good point.” Neville grinned widely, revealing his slightly crooked teeth. “By the way, would it be all right if I stopped by in about three days? To check up on Pelonius?”

Percy nodded, glad that Neville was really interested in helping Pelonius, but he also felt disappointed that Neville was only going to stop by because of Pelonius. He found himself wishing that Neville would stop by even if Pelonius wasn’t in the picture. “Just ring the gong by the fireplace when you come.”

“What gong?”

“The non-existent gong I’m going to put up tomorrow. That way people can alert me that they’ve arrived instead of being subjected to my awful singing.”

Neville burst out laughing. “I have to admit, you sing better than I’d imagined. Though I never thought you’d sing that kind of song . . . ”

“Don’t worry,” Percy mumbled, knowing that he was turning red once more. “I won’t be singing that song any time soon.”

He looked at Neville then, and he saw that Neville had a curious expression on his face, an expression Percy wasn’t sure how to decipher. Before Percy could say anything, though, Neville glanced at the clock.

“I need to get going. I promised Minerva I’d help her with something. I’ll see you in three days?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you for the tea and biscuits, Percy. And good bye, Pelonius.”

“Phwee!”

Percy walked Neville to the fireplace, and Neville said, “Thanks again, Percy. If anything changes with Pelonius, please call me by the Floo. Even if it’s three in the morning.” With one last smile, Neville left, and Percy went back to Pelonius.

“Phwee? Phwee?” Pelonius squirmed in his pot.

“You work on getting better.”

“Phwee!”

Percy sighed and sat back down on the couch. He gazed at the spot Neville had been in earlier, and his imagination took over once more as he pictured the two of them in a compromising position. He groaned loudly and said, “I’m falling for him. I really am attracted to him.”


Three days later, Percy made sure he did all his singing for Pelonius hours before Neville was to be expected. He did not fancy getting caught singing by Neville again. When he heard the Floo go off, he quickly went to Neville and greeted him.

“Good evening,” Neville said in his wonderfully deep voice, the same voice that nearly caused Percy to melt into a pile of wizard goo.

“Thanks for coming,” Percy said stiffly. “Pelonius is looking much better than before. That fertiliser and, ah, the other healing methods seem to be working well.”

“That’s great to hear. I’ll still have to check on him, though.”

“Fine by me.” Percy gestured Neville to go first, and he did. He brushed past Percy, and that brief moment of contact sent shivers down Percy spine. He could sense Neville was really warm, and he wanted to be embraced by that warmness. He followed behind, studying Neville’s backside, and he imagined how it’d feel to wrap Neville in a hug from behind, how it’d feel to rest his cheeks against that broad back and hearing the rhythmic beating inside.

Percy stifled back a moan. He was getting excited again, and he needed to distract himself. “You go check on Pelonius. I’ll go get the tea and biscuits ready.”

“All right.”

Once in the safety of his kitchen, Percy took several deep breaths to get his emotions and his body in control. “I will not make a fool out of myself. I will not make a fool out of myself!” Percy repeated this over and over again as he prepared the tea and biscuits. When he was ready to leave the kitchen, he carried the tray to the sitting room.

Neville, already sitting, greeted him with a beaming smile. “Pelonius is recovering nicely!”

Percy set the tray on the table. “I’m glad to hear that. All that singing is paying off.”

“It is.”

“Let me get your tea ready.” As he poured the Earl Grey into the cup, he could feel Neville’s eyes on him. He ducked his head lower to hide his red cheeks, and when he handed the cup over to Neville, his hands shook slightly. Neville’s larger ones steadied his hands, and Percy looked up and met Neville’s dark gaze.

Neville’s hands were hot, and the heat from his hands was going straight to Percy’s groin. Percy shifted uncomfortably and lamely said, “Your tea’s ready.”

“Thank you.” Neville took the tea cup and set it aside with one hand, but his other hand was still holding onto Percy’s hand. Their eyes were still locked onto each other, and Percy stared deeper and deeper into Neville’s smouldering eyes, feeling like all time had stopped. Slowly, inch by inch, Percy found himself moving closer towards Neville until soon their breath mingled with each other, and Percy’s glasses touched Neville’s face.

Without thinking, Percy closed his eyes, and he felt Neville coming even closer and . . .

“PHWEE!”

The loud, indignant shout from the ruddy plant broke their spell. Percy quickly pulled back, and pulled his hand back, and he blushed a furious shade of red. “Er, try the biscuit,” he muttered, grabbing a biscuit and munching it hard.

“Yes, thanks.” Neville rubbed the back of his head awkwardly and took a sip of his tea before he ate some biscuits. “I’ll need to stop by later this week to check up on Pelonius one last time, and then he should be fully well. Will that be okay?”

“Yes, that’ll be fine.”

“How are things at the Ministry?” Percy relaxed at that question, glad that they could talk the rest of the evening about mundane topics. And while he blathered on about the Ministry, he made sure that the kiss-that-almost-happened was not brought up.

Yet when Neville left later, he felt empty and dejected that the kiss-that-almost-happened had been interrupted by Pelonius.


“I can now say that Pelonius is fully healed.” Neville grinned as they both walked to the fireplace, leaving Pelonius in the sitting room. “You don’t have to give him the fertiliser anymore. You don’t even have to sing to him, but it’d help to sing to him every few days to keep him happy.”

Percy let out a deeply relieved sigh. “I’m glad. Now I don’t have to worry about Penelope kicking me in unmentionable places.”

Neville cocked his head to the side. “Are you still with her? I know you were dating her when you and she were still in Hogwarts.”

“No!” Percy exclaimed. “We’re not together. If we were still together, I think she’d have killed me by now! She doesn’t look it, but she can be very strong and violent when she wants to be.”

“I see.” Neville smirked a bit. “That makes things easier then.”

Percy blinked. “What does?”

“See, a certain plant told me that someone seems to be wanting to pollinate with someone, and the plant also told me that I should be the one to help achieve that goal . . . ”

It took Percy a minute to understand that cryptic message, and when he understood the implications, his face became so red that he was sure steam was coming out of his nose and ears.

How in Merlin’s name did Pelonius tell you?!

“He just told me.”

“Wait, you mean you understand all that Phweeing? Why did you not tell me you understand his Phweeing?”

“You never asked, but yes I’ve learned how to decipher the Phwee Plant’s language.”

“And he told you . . . Merlin’s balls!” Percy took his glasses off, carelessly tossed them on the mantle, and buried his face in his hands. He felt something tug on his wrists, and he allowed Neville to drag his hands away.

Neville tilted Percy’s head up with his fingers and said, “I guess that was not the best way for me to find out how you feel.”

Percy shook his head unhappily, wondering if he should move to Antarctica or somewhere desolate and unpopulated. Somewhere where he would not be recognised as the idiot whose secret was let loose by a plant.

“Percy, I . . . ” Neville cupped Percy’s cheek. “I like you, too, so if you want, we could . . . date?”

Percy stared at Neville, realising that this was the first time he’d seen Neville look so uncertain and nervous since he’d been re-acquainted with the grown up Neville. Seeing Neville acting like this reminded him that Neville, despite being confident and laid back, was still human, was still fallible just like anybody else in the world.

Also, he knew then that Neville felt something between them, too, so if anything, they could try dating like Neville had suggested. It wouldn’t hurt, and he did like everything about Neville so far.

“Well, I’m not against that idea,” Percy said softly.

Without his glasses, Neville appeared rather fuzzy, but Percy could make out the wide smile on Neville’s face. “That’s great to hear.”

And without any hesitation, Neville kissed him. Percy gasped in surprised, but he didn’t dislike the kiss. On the contrary, he loved how Neville kissed. The kiss was slow at first, but then Neville deepened it by entering Percy’s mouth. He could taste Neville, and the taste intoxicated him further as he wrapped his arms around Neville’s neck and he leaned against the wall next to the fireplace, pulling Neville’s hard body against his.

Percy felt their body meshing well with each other, and that encouraged him to bring his hands lower. He rubbed Neville’s back, feeling the muscles shifting underneath his touch, and then he brought his hands down to grab those arse he’d fallen in love with upon their first meeting when Pelonius had got sick.

He could feel Neville’s own hands moving across his body, and everywhere Neville touched, he felt his body wanting more. He could feel himself hardening, and he knew Neville felt the same when he felt Neville’s own hardness against his thigh. When Neville’s thigh met his hardness, Percy broke the kiss with a loud gasp as the strong jolt of pleasure coursed throughout his body.

Neville moved to Percy’s throat, and as he nipped and sucked the sensitive skin there, Percy’s leg turned to jelly, causing him to heavily lean against the wall. He grabbed Neville’s hips and he gasped out, “So good . . . don’t stop.” Without thinking, he began to rub himself against Neville’s muscular thighs, and he knew it wouldn’t be long until he came since it’d been ages since he had done anything sexual with somebody.

But suddenly, Neville grabbed him by the hips, and he stilled Percy’s movement.

“Neville,” Percy almost whined, not happy that the pleasure he’d been experiencing suddenly stopped.

“Percy,” Neville said after taking a deep breath. “Let’s stop now.”

” . . . You’re tired of me already?”

Neville recoiled sharply. “No! That’s not — no! I’m not tired of you at all! We just started, and I do want you, Percy, but I don’t want us to rush this either!”

“Oh.” Percy winced at his horrible mistake. “I . . . yeah, you’re right. Let’s not rush this.”

Neville leaned in closely and whispered into Percy’s ear. “You won’t get rid of me that easily. In fact, Pelonius has given us his blessing, so I think we’ll be together for a while.”

“Pelonius has given us his blessing?” Percy repeated incredulously.

“Yes. He says that he’s glad ‘Rose-head has found a good pollen mate’.”

“He did not say that. He did not call me Rose-head.”

Neville chuckled. “He did.”

Percy grumbled about how certain plants will need to be thrown out, but all that thought was soon forgotten when he felt Neville kissing him softly again.

“I think Pelonius is lonely. I have a female Phwee Plant back at my greenhouse. What do you say you bring him over one day?”

“Is this supposed to be a double-date of some sort?”

“If you want to call it that, sure.”

Percy smiled. “Then it’s a date.”

And in the next room, he heard Pelonius saying, “Phwee!”

[1]

Click on the image for the larger version. Fanart by Heldrad [2].