“Bill? You’ve completely lost your knuts in that noggin of yours.”

“You know you like it, Charlie.”

“It’s too damn painful.”

“No, it isn’t. You just have to adjust your weight and lift yourself the right way! And don’t think about the pain. Think about the benefits.”

“What benefits? I’m sweating, and this position’s killing me!”

“Charlie, stop being a wanker! You’ll enjoy this. Besides, you hang around with those fire-breathing creatures all day! You sweat all the time there.”

“At least I don’t have to listen to your Percy-like lectures from them.”

“You did not just bring our brother into this situation.”

“Shaddup.”

“Whatever. Now move it.”

“I will if you quit shoving so hard, Bill!”

“Then do your part!”

“Fine . . . how’s that?”

“Lift up there and pull!”

“Ow! Fuck. Am getting scratched here. Be careful!”

“I’m trying to be careful here, all right?”

“Ahhh. There. That’s done.”

“See, I told you it wasn’t bad. This was a very healthy experiment. And stop glaring at me.”

“Bill? Do me a favour.”

“What?”

“Next time Aunt Muriel needs a bloody fucking piano moved, don’t volunteer us ever again!”