Word Count: 8,621
Rating: PG-13
Category: Pre-Slash, AU, Angst
Notes: Part of the Severus Snape Fuh-Q Fest, using the scenario #6 Voldemort’s pensieve uncovers memories. Many thanks to Dawn, Titti, and Jen for betaing this monster!
Summary: Sirius finds Voldemort’s pensieve during the final battle. His curiosity aroused, he looks in there and is surprised.
Pairing: Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Warnings: Slash
Dedications: Titti, who gave me some of the ideas during a chat discussion. Thank you so much!
Completed Date: August 9, 2003
The final battle was over.
Through dragons, hexes, goblins, sword fighting, giants, and the unforgivables, Voldemort had finally been vanquished.
Through past experiences, Albus and Severus knew that the Avada Kedavra curse wouldn’t work against the Dark Lord, so Severus had researched and found an answer. The answer was that of an old spell – so ancient that even Voldemort himself hadn’t known about it. Despite Sirius’ complaint about the “greasy git” teaching him a “DARK spell”, Severus trained Harry and he succeeded.
After Voldemort’s fall, the remaining Death Eaters tried to escape, but the aurors and the members of the Order captured many. One of them was Peter Pettigrew. Arthur Weasley took over Cornelius Fudge’s position and became the new Minister of Magic. He pardoned Sirius and now the Animagus was able to know the joy of being a free man once again.
A few days after the final battle, Sirius, Severus, Remus, and several aurors went to scope out the Riddles’ manor. They were told to look for dark artefacts and other objects in the old house. During the assignment, the aurors had the honour of seeing another infamous Snape and Black dispute.
“Why the hell did you ever let Harry learn something like that?!” Sirius glared at Severus, still not forgiving him for what he had forced Harry to do or for his past treatment of the boy.
Severus rolled his eyes. “Please, Black. Spare me the melodrama of an idiotic Gryffindor.” He continued to make his way to the entrance of the manor. “We killed Voldemort and that’s all that matters in this ridiculous situation, isn’t it?”
Sirius fumed. “You greasy git, you are a good for nothing. Nothing at all.”
Severus ignored him and continued to make his way toward the front door. They all entered and started their search.
Sirius searched through several rooms of the house, finding nothing. Finally, he came to the last area he had been assigned to: Voldemort’s private rooms.
Sirius looked around. Like its predecessors, this room was also dark and gloomy. The space was large. In its centre stood an enormous four-post bed, covered with velvet and satin sheets, blankets and heavy bed curtains in dark Slytherin colours. An oriental rug was spread out beneath the bed. Shelves upon shelves of books lined the western wall, and a green armchair and small table were positioned in front of the fireplace. Lastly, on both sides of the bed were night tables, each with a single drawer.
After flipping through book after book, looking under the chairs and bed, and searching inside the fireplace, he paused at the night tables. The drawer on the right revealed nothing, but when he opened the one on the left, he discovered a pensieve.
“Unbelievable. Even he needed one?” Sirius raised his wand and checked for any curses. There weren’t any. He was about to leave the room to show the others what he had acquired when he paused in curiosity.
“Hm . . . if I look into the pensieve, I wonder if I’ll find proof that Snape truly was a traitor and that he joined Voldemort of his own free will to torture us Marauders, minus Peter. With his extensive knowledge in the Dark Arts, I think it’s appropriate that the others and I make sure he doesn’t become ambitious enough to be the next Dark Lord,” thought Sirius.
Sirius continued to stare at the pensieve in his hands. On its own, the object appeared innocent enough, but knowing whom it belonged to made him shudder, both with apprehension and intense curiosity.
He glanced around to make sure that no one was around to see him, and then shrunk the pensieve and pocketed it. He walked out with a smug expression on his face.
“I finally get to sack him with this pensieve as evidence.” With that thought in mind, he left, never knowing that Severus was hidden in the corner, with an expressionless look on his face.
As soon as he got to his rooms at Hogwarts, provided kindly by Albus, he slammed the door and spelled it locked. He walked up to the bed and fell back on it in exhaustion, sprawling out lazily. In that position, he dug through his robe’s pockets to find the mini-pensieve. After growing it back to its original size, Sirius once again stared at it.
After a while, he set the object down next to him on the bed and gazed around the room. His quarters weren’t very large, but they were big enough to accommodate Sirius, and it was cosy due to the warm, steadily burning fireplace. As for contents, the room itself was nearly bare. Sirius really didn’t have time to settle down – he’d only been a free man for a few days, and had been busy hunting down the Death Eaters and dark artefacts.
Sirius sighed to himself. While Arthur did pardon him, he knew that many still didn’t believe he was innocent. Especially Severus. He scowled. Severus would never believe him innocent, even if the truth were written on his beaky nose, for Merlin’s sake!
Grabbing the pensieve, he sat up quickly and decided to get this over with. As much as he wanted proof that Severus was guilty, he shuddered at the thought of going through Voldemort’s mind.
With a deep breath, he brought his wand to the pensieve and looked into the supposedly harmless bowl.
In the glassy surface of the pensieve, he saw trees. Looking closely, he noticed that those trees were part of the Forbidden Forest. The moon was full, but it was beginning its waning stages. He saw a figure hunched on the ground, its back against a tree. Gazing closely, he was surprised to see that the form was Severus.
Sirius grimaced and lowered his face to touch the contents of the pensieve so that he might get a closer look. He felt the expected pull, and then the sensation of passing through an icy cold vortex before eventually landing a few feet away from Severus.
He glanced around. The trees looked ominous in the dark night, making him shiver involuntarily. Strange. When he was in his Animagus form, he didn’t feel the fear, but as a human, he realised he was more vulnerable. He knew he wasn’t going to get hurt in this realm, at least he hoped he wouldn’t.
Sirius’ gaze went back to the slight form. With his knees pulled up to his chest, his arms wrapped around his legs, and his head bent as if he was crying, Sirius could tell he was off in his own world.
He was mumbling to himself.
Sirius couldn’t hear a word, so he walked up closer to the Slytherin.
“Damn, Dumbledore,” said Severus, breathing out in frustration. “He always favours the Gryffindorks. We Slytherins are always the bad ones. So if one of us is nearly murdered, he just makes us promise not to tell a soul, and gives the culprits detentions.”
The onlooker snorted. “So the prat is having a little self-pitying party. Funny. I suppose with an attitude like his, the only sympathy he’ll ever get is his own.” Sirius listened on.
“Black deserves more. Murderers like him ought to be sent to Azkaban. But no, he’s the kind-hearted boy everyone loves, Potter’s sidekick.”
Ironically, Sirius wondered whether or not Severus knew back then that his declaration was going to be fulfilled.
“Why was he able to get off so freely? I know if anyone from my house had tried to do what Black did, we’d be expelled and get sent to Azkaban at best. Other houses would have gotten off easily also. This whole predicament, and Dumbledore’s unfairness is an unjustifiable -”
” – act.” The pensieve Severus and the real Sirius both jumped at the sound, as a new voice interrupted Severus’ monologue. “I very much agree, Mr. Snape.”
Severus jumped up from his position on the ground and pulled his wand out. He snarled, “Who are you?! How dare you eavesdrop on me?”
A tall man came into view from behind the shelter of a cluster of trees not far away from where Severus stood. He had his hands spread out in front of him to indicate he meant no harm.
Severus put his arm down, his shoulders sagging in relief, yet his expression remained guarded. “Oh, good evening, Mr. Riddle.”
“Riddle?” Sirius whispered unbelievingly. “That’s Riddle? You mean Voldie, the ugly, was actually shaggable back then?” He gawked at the man who had to be Voldemort’s younger self. Sirius swallowed and studied the future Dark Lord. “Mr. Riddle” was dressed in an elegant forest green robe, and from the way it was shining in the moonlight, Sirius could tell that it was made of an expensive brand of silk. The man was taller than Severus by a few inches and was about the same height as himself. Sirius knew that he was closer to about fifty years old, but looked as if he wasn’t a day over thirty. His black hair was cut short and looked luxuriously healthy. His eyes, however, captured Sirius’ attention. He was so used to seeing the deformed Voldemort’s red eyes that discovering the brilliant and shadowy dark-green surprised him.
Voldemort, or in actuality, Tom Riddle, smiled at Severus and shook his head to get the bangs out of his eyes. “Haven’t seen you for a while, Severus. You were supposed to visit Lucius this winter holiday.”
Without looking at Tom, Severus answered coldly. “I was busy. I felt like staying back this year.” He sat back down on the ground and stared at the dirt.
“I see,” Tom nodded. “Shame though. We all missed you.”
Severus didn’t say anything.
Tom let out a sigh. “Okay, Severus, enough with this attempt at a conversation. What happened?”
“None of your business,” was the curt answer.
“Okay. You are right. This really isn’t any of my business. But I do care about you, Severus, and I’d like to see if I can help.”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Right. He’s going to offer Snape a chance to get back at the Marauders and all he has to do is to join the Death Eaters.”
“What can you do? Dumbledore, that idiot of a Headmaster, has the final say in whatever happens here.”
Tom smiled. “True. But what I meant was that perhaps you’d like someone to talk this over with.” Stretching himself out, he sat down on the ground in front of Severus. “You can talk to me. I won’t bite. Last time I checked, I wasn’t a cannibal.”
Severus stiffened at the last comment. “I see.”
A round of silence passed before Severus asked, “What are you doing here? This place is far from the Malfoy’s manor.”
“I had some business to do in the Forbidden Forest. After doing so, I decided to walk around here and came upon you talking to yourself.” Tom paused. “So what happened?”
Severus muttered something that sounded like “persistent bastard” before going on, “Nothing. Just a prank that went a bit far.”
“Oh?” Tom raised an eyebrow. “How far?”
“Far enough that I nearly died last night,” Severus snarled. “Does that answer your question?”
Tom nodded slightly. “Pretty much.”
“Then kindly go away.”
“If that’s what you want, then I’ll do so.” Tom got up and dusted himself off. “But first, let me accompany you out of here. You are still a minor, so if you get hurt or something were to happen to you, it would be my responsibility.”
Glaring, Severus reluctantly stood up. They both started walking back toward the castle, and Sirius followed them. No one said anything until they reached the end of the forest. Severus was about to turn to make his way to the entrance when Tom called out something.
“You are free to owl me sometimes, Severus. I’ll be willing to listen and talk with you. You are truly an interesting person.”
Severus stopped and turned around. “Thank you.”
Tom smiled handsomely and walked off.
“Thank you for saying I’m interesting . . . you are the first to say so to me, ever,” Severus said this so softly that Sirius almost didn’t catch it.
Blinking, Sirius gazed at his new surroundings. He glanced around the room and immediately noticed the elaborate decorations and designs. This must’ve been a guest room in the Malfoy manor. He saw Tom sitting at a desk. Moving in to get a closer look, he discovered that there were two sheets of parchment on the desk. Sirius quickly read over the one nearest him.
Mr. Riddle,
Remember your generous request of lending an ear? If you aren’t busy this upcoming weekend, could you come up to Hogsmeade? It is Hogsmeade weekend for us students, and I figured this would be the best time to meet outside of Hogwarts. If you’ve got other business to attend to, then I understand.
Cordially,
Severus Snape
After reading that, Sirius briefly remembered Severus receiving an owl at the Slytherin’s table. He thought quickly and noted that Severus did indeed get that particular owl a couple of days before the Hogsmeade weekend, and it shocked those that were paying attention to see him get an owl. Of their six years together, that was the first time Sirius and the other Marauders witnessed such an incident.
After pulling himself back from memory lane, he glanced at the other parchment and saw that Tom had finished his letter and was now reading what he had written. Mystified, Sirius read along.
Severus,
Of course it wouldn’t be a hassle for me to meet you this weekend. I always can make time for someone like you. Now how about meeting me at Hog’s Head, about four o’ clock. That shall give you plenty of time to do your excursions. I’ll be waiting.
Tom
PS – Don’t call me “Mr. Riddle”. Tom will do.
The settings changed again immediately. Sirius recognised the place as Hog’s Head, the familiar grimy, murky bar that attracted strange folks
He saw Severus entered and look around for Tom. When Severus finally located him, he walked into the darkest corner of the room and sat across from the older man. Sirius stalked over to the area and eavesdropped.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Rid -, I mean Tom.”
Tom let out a great big smile before answering, “Good afternoon to you, Severus. What would you like to drink?”
“Butterbeer, please.”
Tom signalled a man over to their table and asked for one butterbeer and firewhiskey for himself. After they got their drinks, and Tom made sure they were in clean glasses, he initiated the conversation.
“So what do I have the pleasure of your company today, Severus?”
Uncomfortably he shifted his posture, but never once his bland expression wavering. “I just wanted to talk to someone. Someone who would listen. I hope you don’t mind me for making you come out for no particular reasons . . . ”
With a wave of his hand, he brushed off Severus’ subtle apology. “No reason to be sorry. I told you that I am available for you anytime, and being with you is most certainly not a waste at all. But honestly, don’t you have any other people to talk to? Like a fellow Slytherin?”
“I am not open with many people my age. The other Slytherins view me ask a weak figure, just because I can’t defend myself from the Marauder’s pranks. And of course we all know I am not friends with the students from the other houses -” Sirius chortled in the background.” – so I have no one else really. I am a loner by nature.”
“What about your parents?” Tom asked, leaning forward with his hands in front of his face, clutched together. “Aren’t you close with your father? From what I’ve seen and heard, he seems to value you.”
A bitter look came upon Severus’ face. “When we are in public, he acts so proud of me, but really, at home, he despises me. He says I am nothing but a disgrace to the Snapes.”
“How so?”
“Because of my skills.”
“What of your skills?”
Severus glared at Tom. “With all due respect, sir, you never relent, do you?”
Tom smirked. “No, I don’t.” His smirk disappeared and a serious look replaced his face. “I don’t care if I have to tell you this a hundred of times, but I really do care and even if I have to force you to say something to prove I do, I will.”
Still scowling, Severus didn’t say anything.
“So, what of your skills, Severus?”
” . . . He just doesn’t like my interest in potion making . . . ”
“Why not? Potion making is an art. A skill that requires more than just mixing up ingredients together.”
Severus relaxed his posture a bit, glad that he found someone who understood the precise meaning of potions. “My father doesn’t see it that way. He prefers me to delve into the Dark Arts. Ever since I was young, he made me read books on the subject and when I finally got my wand the summer before going to Hogwarts, he made me practise the spells constantly.”
“I see. So you aren’t into the Dark Arts, then?”
Severus shook his head. “I like learning about them. It’s an interesting concept. But I prefer potions, a procedure that I can be infallible with. Potion allows me to do that.”
“So does the Dark Arts,” Tom interjected.
“Yes. They do. But the subject just isn’t . . . me.”
Nodding understandingly, he reached over to touch Severus’ shoulder. “I understand. No offence to you, but potion never was fascinating to me as it is to you.”
“Potion really isn’t for anybody, just like the Dark Arts not being for everyone either,” Severus said this wisely.
“So your father would rather see you do something like Dark Arts because he’s into it?”
He nodded. “He’d rather see me be into anything but potions. He claims that anyone can brew something simple as a calming potion. He’d rather see me interested in something as Transfigurations.” He sipped his butterbeer and scowled. “Something he claims that Black is excellent at.”
Sirius jumped at the sudden mention of his name.
“Black . . . ? You mean Sirius? The great-great-grandson of Phineas Nigellus?”
Severus nodded. “I believe so, yes. You know they are related?”
Tom laughed heartily. “I read Hogwarts: A History enough to remember he was the least popular headmaster. And I do keep updates on pureblood families. Families like yours, Severus.”
“Unfortunately for me, my father and Black’s mother are real good friends. I hear so many things about him from father, even though his mother seems to be rather edgy with him these days. But my father seems to respect him enough.”
Tom studied him intently. “So are you jealous of that respect?”
He didn’t say anything. Instead he stared down into his drink.
“There are so many reasons why I’m jealous of Black, but . . . ” Severus hesitated, “I guess that’s one of the reasons why.”
Neither of the men said anything. Both sipping their drinks and staring off into space peacefully. As the evening drew near, more and more people, who looked dodgier than the two sitting in the corner, came in. Severus glanced at the clock above Tom’s head and realised it was already six-thirty. Tom saw where his companion was looking at and smiled.
“I guess you should be heading back now.” He stood up, and Severus followed his actions. “This has been an enjoyable time for me, Severus. I do hope we do this more often. Remember, I am free whenever you need me. Oh and don’t bother about the drinks. They are my treats.”
A small smile played on Severus’ lips. “Thank you for the drinks, Tom. And I really did appreciate the time we spent together as well.”
Tom walked Severus to the exit of the bar, “Feel free to owl me to schedule another time, alright?”
Severus nodded and walked off. After watching him stride away to Hogwarts, Tom turned and went back into Hog’s Head. Walking back into the corner, Sirius saw that a new person was occupying the space, Lucius Malfoy.
Sirius growled to himself. Turmoil of emotion was going through him once again. He wasn’t very happy at seeing Malfoy at all. He was also confused by Tom’s actions and by Severus’ enigmatic words.
“What in the bloody name does he mean by being jealous of me? I bet you he has no reasons. In fact, I probably have more reasons to be jealous and resentful of him! Not surprising the way my mum would always gush about Mr. Snape’s only son!” Sirius muttered under his breath.
His reverie was cut off by Tom’s laughter.
“Yes, Lucius. Severus does show potential. He will be a great asset to our circle of Death Eaters. His potion expertise will come in handy and so will his curses. After hearing about what his father made him do, I can see that the rumours about him knowing more curses and hexes than any other first years is true.”
Lucius bowed his head. “Yes, my Lord. I was rather surprised to see him be so intimate with his wand and the spells. Surprised me immensely.”
“Yes, yes. I’ve got my work to cut out for me though. Apparently that boy needs a friend and a father figure that will treat him with respect. I will give him that.” Tom’s eyes became shadowed. “In fact, I think that even if I didn’t have an ulterior motive in this whole event, I’d still try to be a friend to him. He reminds me of myself when I was younger . . . ”
“You are too kind, my Lord.”
Tom smiled not so benevolently. “I am, Lucius. I am.”
Before Sirius had enough time to contemplate on what he had just heard, the scenery changed once again. He found himself back at the Malfoy’s manor once again, in Tom’s room. In front of him, was the fireplace with two comfortable looking armchairs. The fire wasn’t lit, and the chairs were occupied. Tom sat on the right, while Severus was in the left.
“I am glad you accepted the Malfoy’s invitation to come here for the summer holidays,” Tom sipped his tea and set it back down on the small tea table in front of him.
Severus had a cup of tea also, sipped his and held it in his hand, concentrating on the warm colour of the milky brown substance. “I’m glad as well.”
“Are you looking forward to going back to Hogwarts for your last year?”
“I guess . . . ” He trailed off and shrugged. “School is no longer a place I consider a blissful sanctuary anymore.”
Tom nodded supportively. “Simply amazing how someone who’s supposedly a good person can ruin his students, whom he supposedly cares.”
Sirius noticed that Severus looked uncomfortable about the subject of Albus, and Tom changed the subjects quickly.
“Anyways, Severus, I have something that might interest you.” Reaching over on the other side of the armchair, furthest away from Severus, he picked up a book that Sirius had somehow missed seeing. He handed it over to Severus. “Here. I think you will enjoy making experimental potions, and since Professor Singh highly favours your skills and allows you to use the spare lab near the dorm, you will have no problem doing this project.”
Severus’ mouth dropped open and that eased away his “permanent” scowl and made him look more human. He was so shocked that he didn’t accept the book. “That’s . . . that’s . . . ” He swallowed and found his tongue again. “That’s the fifteenth century book about rare potions from everything to love potions to distress potions!”
Smiling, Tom shoved the book into the offered hands. “Use it well. I found this book during my travels in the earlier days and kept it. But since I lack the skills you have, I figured that passing this book along to you will be more beneficial.”
Severus’ fingers closed over the books, holding them without any ounce of pressure, for the fear that it will get damaged if handled not so gently. “Thank you . . . I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t thank me, Severus.” Tom had a peaceful look on his face. “This gesture is the same one I would have done if my son, which I haven’t had yet, was dedicated to potions, just like you.”
Feeling the proverbial shift, Sirius found himself at a new place. A place he doesn’t recognised. He looked around and saw that he was at some sort of a graveyard. He looked straight ahead and saw many robed bodies. Their backs were to Sirius and they were bent as if they were bowing to someone. Walking up to the front, he saw Tom as Voldemort and two people that were dressed as Muggles.
Sirius winced as he heard the well-known demonic, cold voice spoken coolly. Strange how after seeing the “nice” Voldemort, hearing the melodic, husky voice, he couldn’t help but see why people were drawn to him. Apparently there were two sides to that man. The decent side was probably used to recruit followers and then the immoral side was used during Death Eater’s businesses. He couldn’t help but remember Lily talking about Hitler and how his speeches and his voice drew people to him. Similar things seemed to apply to Voldemort as well.
“Walden and Lucius, show me your loyalty to me. Torture these good for nothing, Muggles.”
The two spoken men came up from the group and bowed even lower. “Yes, my lord,” they both replied. They sneered at the trembling Muggles and each went to their jobs.
Walden took the female and immediately cast the Cruciatus Curse. Lucius used Imperio on the remaining Muggle and ordered the man to start ripping off the clothes of the female. He then ordered the man to pick up the knife that Lucius threw on the ground and start slashing the woman, after Walden petrified the woman. She couldn’t move or scream, but Sirius saw that she was struggling against the Petrificus Totalus spell and was draining of her energy.
Sirius felt sick. The other Death Eaters around him and Voldemort looked amused. The Death Eaters were laughing and screaming in delight. Occasional shouts of encouragement cheered out.
The woman slowly bled to death, her own blood seeping out from the many wounds was blending into the dark soil. Walden neutralised the petrifying spell and the woman took her last breath and died. Lucius stopped the Imperio curse and the man fell to his knees, sobbing and muttering incoherently about how he killed his own wife. At this point, Voldemort stepped up and said the two most feared words.
With a bored expression, he waved his wand and said “Avada Kedavra.” The man slumped to the ground and was dead on the spot.
Voldemort motioned for the bodies to be moved somewhere else. He spoke up again. “Now that’s one ways to get rid of Muggles.”
All the Death Eaters laughed and bowed their head.
“We are slowly gaining more followers. But we still aren’t enough to take on larger attacks. And with that miserable fool Dumbledore around, the Muggle-loving bastard, we can’t do much yet.”
One extremely stupid Death Eater piped up. “So it is true? The only person you are afraid of confronting right now is Dumbeldore? The same renowned wizard that defeated Grindenwald over thirty years ago?”
Voldemort’s eyes blazed with anger as he walked to the front of the doomed Death Eater who said that. “Are you comparing me to that disgusting wizard who has no right to be called a wizard with such outlandish beliefs?”
Realising his mistake, the Death Eater swallowed and cowered. “No, my Lord. That’s not what I meant. It was a slip of the tongue, sir!”
His eyes narrowing, he hissed, “Didn’t sound like a slip of the tongue, you miserable wretch. CRUCIO!”
The new victim screamed as Voldemort repeatedly cast the Crucio spell. Screaming till his throat was raw, Voldemort gave him one last look before walking back to his place at the front.
“Anyone else dare to question my abilities and compare me to Dumbeldore?” The remaining Death Eaters were as silent as the night surrounding them and Voldemort smirked. “Then the meeting is adjourned till next time.” He apparated and Sirius went with him to another memory.
Snow was gently falling on the ground. Sirius looked and saw that they were back in Hogsmeade and the place looked like a Winter Wonderland. There were younger students having snowballs fights and making snowmen. In fact, he saw himself with James throwing snowballs at each other. He was surprised to see how young he looked, how carefree both of them were.
He forced himself not to look and followed Tom, who was his other self again, was heading toward Hog’s Head.
Severus was already waiting for Tom at the entrance. The young Slytherin had a pleased look on his face. Sirius noticed that Tom had a hood over him, so no one could really tell who it was. “Trying to be careful . . . ” Sirius briefly remembered that during October of his seventh year, Albus had announced at Halloween that they were to watch out for Voldemort and the Death Eaters. James was making fun of the name, calling him “Voldie and the Death Eaters”. Sirius remembered that the rest of the Gryffindor table members who overheard the statement, were laughing. Lily had mentioned that James’ rendition of the name sounded like a Rock band, rather than some group of people attacking and causing havoc.
Sirius’ memories were cut off short when he saw that Tom had ushered Severus into the Hog’s Head rather quickly. Once settled in the area that they claimed as their own corner earlier in the year, Tom took his hood off.
“Hello, Severus. You seem well and happy.”
Severus smiled an actual smile. “Yes.”
“I’m glad we’ve been regularly keeping in contact via owls. Each time I get a letter, it brightens my day.”
“Same here.”
Tom pulled out a package and from somewhere in his robe, enlarged it and handed it to him. “I know that Christmas isn’t until another week and a half, but I figure that you can use this before then.”
Severus accepted the package, which was roughly the size of a medium telly. He opened it and gasped. Tom had gotten him the cauldron he’d wanted to have ever since his first year. The cauldron was a simple, silver cauldron, but whatever he brewed would always come out pure, never diluted, unless he just made a big mistake while making the batch. Silver cauldrons were very expensive and rare. The price was what had prevented Severus from getting one, and now he had one.
“Salazar’s Serpent . . . this is wonderful!” Severus handled the cauldron carefully and bought it to the front of his face, a mere millilitres away. “I can’t believe it. I asked my father for one of those during the winter holidays of my first year and he said such supplies are rubbish and waste of money. I never had imagined I’d be an owner of this . . . ”
Tom chuckled at Severus’ oblivious happiness. “You deserve it.”
“Oh my. Forgive me. I can’t believe I forgot my manners.” Severus put it down and looked at Tom, straight in the eyes. “Thank you so much for this wonderful gift. This is the best Christmas gift. Ever.”
“You’re wel -” Severus cut him off.
“And I value you deeply. You are like the father I never had. Thank you for being there for me and showing me you care.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wrapped vial and handed it to Tom. “Here’s your Christmas gift,” he rambled on. “It’s my rendition of Dreamless Sleep potion. Only I think that it should be named Sweet Dreams potion, considering its effects.”
Tom was surprised. He knew Severus was a good potion maker, but most people his age wasn’t that good to make their own version of certain potions. He unwrapped it and stared at the clear liquid in the container. Severus animatedly continued on. “I’ve even enhanced the taste. It should taste sweeter.”
Tom held up the vial and carefully put it in the inner pocket of his robe. “Thank you, Severus. This truly is the nicest gift I’ve ever received. And considering how I do get plagued by nightmares on occasion, this is wonderful.”
Sirius could not believe it. Tom aka Voldemort had nightmares? When he was the bloody cause of many people’s nightmares, especially Harry?
Severus’ sallow skin flushed slightly at the compliment and went even pinker at what Tom said next.
“I think you should try to become a Potion master. I hear that it’s rather gruelling, but it’s worth it. You will be one of the few Potion master here in Britain, and will be sought after a lot.”
Severus didn’t say anything, but his eyes were calm and had a pleasing note to them.
“Like I said, Severus, this really is a nice gift, but I think the best gift was the part you telling me that I am like a father to you. For a bachelor like me, that really warms me up.” Tom smiled and before Severus could say anything, he stood up and walked Severus to the door.
“Go back now. It’s already dark. I’ll see you at the Malfoy’s Manor during the holidays.” Tom had pulled up his hood before leaving the corner and quickly gave Severus a hug before shooing him back toward the direction of the castle.
“My loyal followers, this is a grand day for us.” Sirius jumped about ten feet in the air when he heard Voldemort’s voice instead of Tom’s. “Hogwarts completed its last term a few days ago, and thus new members have joined our circle. We have a total of thirty new followers and three-fourths of them are Hogwarts’ previous students.”
Sirius looked around and saw Severus, Bellatrix, LeStrange himself, Regulus, and then he didn’t recognised the rest. He didn’t see Peter, so he guessed that he came to the Dark Lord’s side much later. That bloody bastard . . .
His attention was diverted as he watched Voldemort cast “Morsmorde” on Bellatrix. His cousin, who he knew was a tough bitch, couldn’t even stand the obvious pain from getting the Dark Mark. He heard the awful screams and nearly threw up as he saw the skin surrounding the Dark Mark. It was twitching and soon the entire arm looked as if there were worms crawling right beneath the skin. He saw that soon the area burst and blood gushed out. With an invisible hand, it looked as if someone was using her blood to trace the pattern of the Dark Mark on the arm.
Sirius knew that he was curious about how one got the Dark Mark, but now he wished he didn’t have to see the vivid detailed process of it.
Severus was the last one to receive the treatment. Amazingly, he was the only one who hadn’t screamed. Sure, his facial expression was in the form of pain, but scream, no. Then again, Sirius recalled Severus not screaming in fright during the Shrieking Shack incident, so this really shouldn’t have been a surprise.
He looked up and saw that Voldemort had a proud expression on his face. The beaming was directed toward Severus.
Sirius blinked as the pensieve world shifted again and this time he was in Tom’s private room at Malfoy’s manor. Tom was speaking seriously to Severus.
“Well tomorrow is the big initiation day and I want you to join. You will be a great asset to us. Your potions will help us and you can train for your Potion master degree, just come when I summon you. And I’ll fund your apprenticeship.”
Severus looked hesitant. “The whole point of this is to make the other wizards and witches understand that Muggles are useless people that should be destroyed?”
“Yes. Purebloods, which means you and I, and other followers, are the true rulers of the wizarding world. We don’t want to be overrun by Muggles-coddler, Mudbloods, and so on.”
Severus didn’t say anything for a long moment. He sipped his tea and was frowning as he contemplated on what had just been given to him.
“I . . . I’ll follow you, Tom. I trust you.”
Looking around at his new surroundings, Sirius saw that he was in a lab of some sort. He saw cauldrons on the table with potion ingredients next to it. There were other supplies, such as the cutter. There were shelves and Sirius saw vials and bottles of many potions, labelled neatly. Surprisingly, he didn’t see any of the cauldrons in use. No potions were being brewed.
Tom walked in and saw that Severus wasn’t doing anything, but rather was sitting there, doing nothing but staring into space.
“Something wrong, Severus? I know you are enjoying the apprenticeship and Master Connelly tells me that you are moving along well beyond most apprentices’ level.”
There wasn’t a reply from the other man.
“Severus, get your act together. I need those potions I’ve requested of you, and then after that we have a mission to go on.”
Hoarsely, Severus asked, “Why am I expected to do this?”
“This is your destiny and you chose to follow this road,” Tom said not so kindly.
“But why are we also using these on our own people? Some of the ones who joined us?”
“Because sacrifices are necessary within our group and the wizards and witches need discipline. They need to be shown who’s in charge.”
Severus didn’t say thing, but he looked thoughtful. Sirius wondered if Severus had began to suspect Voldemort’s true nature.
“Tom . . .”
“Don’t call me that anymore. Refer to me as ‘my Lord’ or ‘Lord Voldemort,” snapped Tom.
“Even when it’s just the two of us?” His eyes held a pleading note to them. Tom might not have seen it, but Sirius saw confusion in his eyes.
Coldy, he asked, “Are you questioning my orders?” He pulled out his wand. “Crucio.”
Severus screamed at the unexpected attack and collapsed off the chair onto the floor, twitching madly. After a minute of the curse, Tom stopped it. “Now. You have given your life to me, and you have said you will follow me wherever I go, so start on the potions, Snape. And after that, I’ve got a new assignment for you. You are to become a spy for me and spy on Dumbledore.” Severus’ name was sneered out and he majestically turned around, robes flowing behind him, walking toward the exit. Before he walked out, he said one last thing.
“We are Slytherins, and I am the heir of Slytherin. We are known for our cunningness and ambition. Only a lovesick fool of a Hufflepuff or Gryffindor would put their feelings before their ambitions. Slytherins don’t. Never forget that.”
Sirius briefly wondered if that’s where Severus had gotten the dramatic exit from, before the memory ended.
“You are back to join us, I see.”
Sirius recoiled back at seeing the ugly figure he was used to seeing in more recent times. He still can’t believe that the monster in front of him right now was such a handsome brute back then. He swallowed back the nausea as he forced himself to look. The red eyes really freaked him out. “How did I get so used to the green eyes so quickly? The transition of Tom to Voldemort was too huge and different. I bet his old followers were shocked to see the great, charismatic man reduced to skins and bones.”
Severus bowed. “Yes, master, I live to only serve you.”
“If you lived to serve me, Snape, then why didn’t you come when I summoned you the night I came back fully?”
“I am a professor at Hogwarts, Sir, my strange disappearance would raise the suspicions of many people, since it coincided with the same time that Potter was portkeyed. I have an image to protect. A professor, in the middle of chaos, is known to stay around and help, Sir. He looked up. “I did show up this time, haven’t I? Please allow me to resume my old job back. I will be of an asset for you.”
“Hm. Well, you are going to be useful. You are at the place where Dumbledore resides and that will give you the perfect opportunity to spy on him and his upcoming moves.”
Severus nodded and kissed Voldemort’s hems. “Thank you, Master. Thank you for allowing me to prove myself to you and to serve you.”
He smirked. “Yes, Snape. But still I am going to punish you. Crucio!” He laughed maniacally while Severus screamed. “Yes, like I told you many years before, discipline is needed, even amongst my most loyal followers.” Voldemort looked down at his side and looked at a cowering Peter. “Isn’t that right, Wormtail?”
Sirius gagged as he saw Peter kissing the hems of the robe and praised his lord. “Disgusting bastard.”
Severus stopped screaming when Voldemort stopped the Cruciatus Curse. “Get up, now. And go brew the torture potions for me at your labs in Hogwarts now.”
“Dammit!” Voldemort threw the bottle of firewhiskey into his fireplace. Watching the glass break and the alcohol making the flames dance around excitedly, he rubbed his forehead and sighed. “How did I let something so obvious slip past me?”
He motioned Wormtail over, who was as usual shivering and wincing at his master’s actions. “Yes, my Lord?” His voice had a shrill edge to it.
“Get out of my sight. Go socialise with Lucius or something.”
“But, my Lord -”
“NOW!” Wormtail wasted no time and got out of the room on his short, stubby legs.
Nagini slithered over.
“Why was I so stupid?” he asked Nagini, in Parseltongue. Sirius was surprised that he understood what Voldemort was saying. Then again this was a memory from the pensieve, so Sirius figured it was some kind of an enhanced side effect. However he didn’t understand what the snake was saying at all.
Sirius listened to the snake hiss in a language far beyond him and realised that he could follow along the conversation.
“How did I find out?” Voldemort petted his beloved serpent. “Tonight’s mission, which you weren’t there for, proved it. I had Harry Potter right in my grasp again, and I knew that in my bones, this was the chance for me to kill him. However, HE, interfered and ruined everything.
“No, I don’t blame the boy. I was the one who pushed him away. I treated him like I treated all my other followers. I guess that showed that I was no different from his father or Dumbledore. And I guess after he realised that I was just the same as everyone else he learned to respect, he decided that the bumbling headmaster was more trustworthy than me.
“Sad. Doesn’t he know that the renowned headmaster is no different than any true evil person out there? That man manipulates people just as much as a true Slytherin does. He claims he’s doing the best of his judgement, but he’s wrong. His judgement is not as good as mine.
“Strange, how that boy is connected with all our lives. It’s as if he makes a greater impact than Dumbledore and I put together. He really is special, but once someone betrays him, he holds grudges strongly. The only person he doesn’t seem to view this way is that damn Black. It’s so bloody obvious that he had some sort of an infatuation with that boy back then. It’s been dampened down, but those two have a history that surpassed even the one I share with Severus.
“But knowing him, he probably wants to confront that idiotic Black about his feelings, but he never will do that. His grudge is stronger than his love.”
Sirius’ mouth dropped in astonishment. “No bloody way . . . ”
“He mastered Occlumency. He secretly did that, somehow. That would explain why I could never get the information I wanted from him. And that’s why he was able to hide his true loyalties so long.”
He summoned another bottle of firewhiskey and chugged down on it. “Ambitions . . . I love mine. But it made me lose someone precious, someone who was like a son to me. I really am an idiot.” His eyes darkened, and he gripped the bottleneck of his drink and stared into the fireplace. “And those who make such a fool of me will die.”
Sirius felt someone grabbing his arm, and pulling him out. He was back in his room, on the floor, and he was surprised to see Severus standing there.
“How . . . what . . . ?”
Severus glared at him. “You are truly an moron. Only a typical Gryffindor like you would take a Dark Lord’s pensieve and go into it to see proof that your worst enemy is truly evil.” He crossed his arms. “And before you ask, I saw you sneak that into you robes. I wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but I guessed, and was apparently correct. And subtleness was never your forte, Black. You let all your emotions show outwardly and seeing that triumphant look on your face made me put two and two together that you wanted to sack me somehow.”
“So, do I want to know what memories you saw?” He sneered. “Did you get any proof of my allegiance?”
Sirius numbly nodded, still in shock to know what he found out. Struggling to speak, in a raspy voice he asked, “You liked me?”
Severus went pale. “What did you say?”
“I asked if you liked me back then.”
Eyes burning with fury, he turned around and Sirius saw the dramatic exit. “Running away? So unlike you, Severus.”
Severus stopped and didn’t turn around. His arms were by his sides and his fists were clenched. “Obviously pensieve don’t lie, so I’ll tell you this. Whatever I felt then has now been deteriorated.”
“Bullshite.” Sirius stood up and used the wall for support. “Not according to Voldemort and that memory was probably one of the most recent ones.”
“Believe whatever the hell you want, Black.” He started walking again. “You had better take that damn pensieve to Albus or the Ministry. And Black, don’t call me Severus. You have no right to do so.”
Sirius called out desperately, slowly understanding the memories and putting them together bits by bit. “You went to Voldemort because of me, right?” He walked closer to Severus, whom had stopped walking again. “If I hadn’t been such a prat back then, and just left you alone, you probably wouldn’t have met Voldemort the night after the Shrieking Shack incident.” He swallowed hard. “But I did and that started everything . . . ”
Sirius stopped an arm length behind Severus. “I’m sorry . . . ”
Severus turned around quickly in a furious manner. He was so angry that his breathing was hard and fast, causing his chest to move rapidly. “Don’t you dare apologise! I don’t want your pity, dammit!”
“But I truly am!”
He hissed out, “You think saying ‘sorry’ will solve every single thing in this world? If you think that, Black, you are seriously demented.”
Sirius opened his mouth to say something and than noticed that Severus had a point. When he was younger and even now at occasions, he’d automatically ask for forgiveness and think all was well.
“Besides, Black, not everything revolves around you. Even if you hadn’t played that damn prank, I might have still be lured to Voldemort in one way or another, so do me a favour, and keep your apologies to yourself!” He turned around and this time left the room for good.
Sirius asked Remus to return the pensieve for him at the Ministry. Remus had a questioning look, but he forced himself not to ask anything and figured that Sirius would tell him what happened later.
With the arrest of the last Death Eater, they were free to celebrate. And celebrate the wizarding world did for the next week. Sirius went to so many festivities that he lost count. However he did notice that one person never showed up to any, and that was Severus.
Thoughts of Severus would not leave his mind. He told himself that he was only thinking of him out of pity. But then he had wet dreams about the infuriating man. Sirius tried to convince himself that this was all lust. He tried thinking of Severus in a French Maid outfit with a polka-dotted apron, but that just made his feelings more intense. When he pictured that outfit on Severus, he actually thought that he looked sexy.
So after another week of telling himself that he’s not falling for Severus, and those two always avoiding each other, Sirius came to a conclusion.
He recalled Voldemort’s comment about how members of Gryffindor and other houses but Slytherin, put their feelings before their ambitions. He slowly came to a conclusion that when he was younger, he did act upon his feelings, but they were the wrong feelings. He acted petty toward Severus because his parents favoured him instead of their own sons. And since he hated everything about his family, he started to treat Severus the way he did, all because he was sorted into Slytherin. And then him teasing Severus became so much part of his daily routine that he didn’t bother to note that he actually did like the boy. He respected the boy whom he had known since childhood, but hated everything Severus represented when they got into Hogwarts.
Sirius determinedly walked towards Severus’ dungeon rooms.
“I did follow the wrong feelings then, and now, just to prove ole’ Voldie’s point, I will follow my feelings once again. But this time, I’ll follow the right ones,” he muttered to himself.
He knocked on Severus doors and waited.
Severus opened the door with an annoyed look on his face. “Black, what do you want. And it better be good.”
Sirius quickly manoeuvred around Severus and got into his private rooms. He spelled the door shut and locked it. Before Severus could say anything, Sirius went up to him, grabbed him and kissed him.
The tense, thin lips that were pressed against his didn’t move. However the object of his affection wasn’t making any move to push him off. Sirius started caressing Severus’ back and gently pushed the shorter man against the wall. He felt Severus’ hand against his hips. That gave Sirius the initiative to go further and he did so by licking Severus’ lips, which opened in shock, and Sirius took the advantage and started exploring the sweet yet snarky mouth. He felt Severus kissing him back hesitantly. Sirius moaned against Severus’ mouth, and that awoke Severus from his shocked stupor.
Severus shoved Sirius away, whom at that moment was dazed. Severus looked murderous. “Get out, Black. You’ve had your fun, now get the hell out of my rooms.”
Sirius became clear-headed and smiled softly. “I will. You wouldn’t be the man I know if you suddenly accepted me.” He walked to the door, unspelled it and opened it. He turned before leaving. “I know what I want, Severus, and I have Voldemort to thank for that.”
He walked off. On the outside he was calm, but inside he was giddy. “He kissed me back!” He thought. “And I sound like an hormonal teenager. But fuck that. I have a man to conquer with the first stages of love . . . ” Sirius let out a smile. “I am ready for this challenge. I am a Gryffindor, after all.”